Reflection

Objects in rear view mirror are closer than they appear….

When my husband nudged me to take the 10 year challenge that was floating around social media to show just how far I’ve come I laughed. I hadn’t thought about posting an old comparison picture for one second. Not because I haven’t come far, I absolutely have, but rather because I didn’t want to go back to 10 years ago. I didn’t want to look at those old pictures, be reminded of that version of myself.

Then when I thought he might be right, that it would be good to share that part of my journey I turned to the one place I knew I’d find an old picture, Facebook.

We all know Facebook is great for reminding us of the “good” old days. In search I went. Funny enough, there weren’t a lot of pictures to find. Some, but not a lot. Well for one, smart phones as we know them today make it much easier to upload photos before you can say, “delete that”, but also I wasn’t proud of how I looked so I sure as heck wasn’t posting pictures of myself. Almost every picture I found was one I’d been “tagged” in.

Well, I found a picture and in the process of looking for one I also found some of the pain, the hurt, the self loathing, the yuck. This isn’t the pretty stuff my friends, this however, is life!

It took me days to process and quite honestly I think I’m still working through it. The 2009 version of me, where she was, who she was and the journey she’s been on that brought her, me into present day.

I instantly started feeling so ashamed and sad about that 2009 me, making poor choices, working way too hard to make other people love me and in the process not loving myself at all!

Self love is messy. I can attest to that. Growing, doing the work on yourself might be the hardest thing you do in your life, but also the most beautiful. When we realize we are worthy of loving ourselves and deserving of treating ourselves well, we don’t stand for others not loving us and treating us poorly. We learn to walk away from situations and people who no longer serve the growing version of ourselves. It’s okay to have conflicted feelings about that at times, it’s all part of your journey, it’s all part of your story, it’s all part of YOU.

My health, wellness and spirituality are at an all time abundance and I couldn’t be more grateful for this. I’ve gathered and continue to gather tools to help support me in all parts of keeping myself well. Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, nutritionally, you name it, I’m working on my wellness for it!

Sometimes this platform, this blog, feels more like a Dear Diary, but I share because I know how along the way I found people that made me believe, trust that I deserved better, more for myself and if I can show you one slice of that, inspire you in some small way to prioritize yourself and your wellness, well the sharing is worth it.

We were not intended to live in isolation but rather in community so let the energy you hope to attract into your life flow out of you like a fountain! The Universe and I both have your back!